Conversation With Your Child

It's not easy being parents. We know first hand with our 3 children, and I'm sure most parents will agree that  parenting can be pretty darn stressful at times, and sometimes, even parents will say the wrong things. Often times, after these things have been said, we'd regret it, and wish that we had never mentioned such things to our children. We're all humans, and it's only human to lose your cool at times. However, being parents, our job is to teach our children the right stuff, and to keep a cool head in times of stress and distress.

There are certain things that you should say and actually make an effort to say to your child, and there are others that you should never say. Being aware of what some of these are will certainly help. There's a lot of different lists of what you should say to your child, but very few listing what you should say to your child. So we're going to start off with things that you should say.

10 Things You Should Say to Your Child

1. "Thank You". Yes, it's that simple. Say thanks to your child. Let your child know that you appreciate them and you appreciate their efforts.

2. "Please". Another simple, yet often overlooked word that parents should be using more often with your children.

3. "Do you need some help?" Let your child know that you're there to help, and always available when they need you.

4. "Tell me..." Show your interest in your children, and let them know that you're genuinely interested in what they're doing or talking about.

5. "How can I help?"

6. "Great job!", or "Awesome work!" Give praise for a job well done and help your child build their self confidence and self reliance.

7. "How about a hug?" Let your child know you care about them and love them. A simple hug often times goes a long way in delivering that message.

8. "I love you." Don't just assume that your child knows that you love him or her. You need to say this to your child and let them know that you love them - even older children.

9. Smile and nod at your child. Sometimes, you don't need to say much, but a simple smile or nod of the head will show your approval and attention.

10. "Let's work through this together." Be part of their lives, and let them know that you are there to help them with whatever it is that they need help with.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Your child

1. "What's wrong with you?" Really, is there something wrong that you need to tell your child something is "wrong" with him or her?

2. "Because I said so." Think of the message your giving your child: "what I say matters and what you say does not."

3. "Why can't you be more like ______" fill in the blank with "your sister", "your brother", or a name. Do not compare your child with another. We're all unique individuals with our strengths and weaknesses.

4."You're so stupid." You shouldn't even say that to other people, why would you say it to your own child?

5. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

6. "I wish you were never born" or "You were an accident!"

7. "You're such a failure" or "you're never going to mount to anything." Nothing kills confidence more than telling a child that he or she is a failure.

8. "Leave me alone" or "don't bug me". It's normal for a parent to want an occasional break, but there are better ways to go about it. When you need that occasional break or peace, let your child know ahead of time. "I need a few minutes to finish what I'm doing okay? Thank you."

9. "Act your age." Children don't actually know how to "act their age", it is the parent's job to show them appropriate behavior.

10. "Shut up!" Nothing more needs to be said here.